John, meanwhile, carried on with enthusiasm to the very last moment of our trip.  Unlike me, and very much like normal people, he experiences his emotions as they happen.  I’m such an extreme planner that I anticipate and experience my emotions ahead of time.  As you might expect, I’m not very good with surprises and spontaneity.

Upon arriving home, having already mourned, I settled back into our routine with gusto.  I was thrilled to be back in the kitchen, shopping at Whole Foods and then cooking all of the things I’d missed eating while we were gone.  While I was bustling around, John’s depression hit hard.  Now it was his turn to be withdrawn and listless.

Of course, we both eventually settled back into the swing of things (with John even back working where he was before we left).  We’ve settled back in to such an extent that sometimes, sadly, it almost feels like we never left, and that the whole trip was just some kind of dream.  But then something will trigger a memory of an experience we had somewhere along the way, and we’ll laugh and reminisce about it.  Like that time we almost got stuck at the Datong airport for two days.  Ah, mem’ries.  As John’s brother would say, tragedy + time = comedy.

Now that we’ve had six months back at home to reflect on the experience, I know we’d both go again in a heartbeat.  There are probably a lot of things we’d do differently if we could do it all over again.  There are certainly some places we’d cross off the list and others we’d add.  But still, we recognize that the places we didn’t like all that much and the regular ups and downs we experienced added color and perspective to the trip.  They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, so I guess by throwing in six months of constant togetherness and unfamiliar environments, we really put ourselves to the test.  I think so much of what we learned along the way about ourselves and each other has just become standard operating procedure for us now.  We’ve incorporated those lessons into our day to day lives, and we’re the better for it.  And now we say for our 20-year anniversary we’re going to repeat the trip…so I guess I’d better start planning that now!

–This is the end of Shelley and John’s Big Adventure 2012.  Join us in 2032 for the next installment.–

For the best viewing, click on the first picture, and it’ll take you to a captioned gallery that you can scroll through:

We were excited to try some new water-based adventures in Kaikoura, which is one of New Zealand’s main places for viewing marine mammals in their native habitats.  So on a beautiful, sunny morning, we set out to buy tickets for a whale watching expedition.  I think we both expected the goal of the trip would be to see lots and lots of whales and to watch as they breached and dove and did all kinds of fun things.  Well, we learned that the whale watching off Kaikoura is a little different.  Because of the sudden drop off to cold, deep water, Kaikoura is a prime spot for male sperm whales, which live solitary lives and don’t jump or show off much.  Sperm whales are a good sight, though, as they’re the largest whale with teeth (as opposed to baleen), and they also have the largest brains of any mammal on earth.  They’re also the deepest diving mammal–they can reach depths of almost 10,000 feet–which can make them difficult to spot, since they spend so much time deep under water.  As the boat got underway, we were cautioned that we might not see a whale at all.

Lucky for us, the crew was able to find a whale that had been sighted earlier in the day, but we were surprised to find that he was just floating there, sleeping.  I’d never once thought before about whales sleeping.  I mean, it makes sense that they need to, just like all mammals, but it had never occurred to me that they might just be floating along in the ocean taking a nap.  Our boat didn’t disturb the sleeping whale in the slightest.  We hung out for a while, taking some pictures (below on the left), hoping he might wake up, but he was out cold.  So we headed off in search of another male and this time we really got lucky–the whale was hanging out on the surface preparing for a deep dive.  The crew got us in position quickly and we managed to catch pictures of him (below on the right) just as he plunged.  You might notice a lovely brown puddle around his tail–yes, that is what you think it is.  Apparently sperm whales are known to empty their bowels just before they dive.

I think the whale watching turned out a little differently than we’d expected, but it was still really interesting, and it was wonderful to be out on such a beautiful day.  As we returned to shore, I took some pictures of the rock pools on the coast and also of the stunning snow-capped Kaikoura Mountains that meet the Pacific Ocean.

The next day we set out for another marine mammal experience–swimming with seals.  We had the option of swimming with dolphins or swimming with seals, but it seems like there are more opportunities to see dolphins around the world, so we opted for the seals.  I think secretly I hoped it would be like hanging out with a group of lovable, playful puppies, but I found out that seals are a lot more timid around humans than I’d expected. The water was COLD, so we got suited up in full, thick wetsuits topped off with caps and gloves.  Our captain led the five of us on the trip on a snorkeling expedition along the coastline, where we watched seals flop into the water and cautiously check us out below the surface.  We swam through a narrow channel with sunny rocks on each side while the seals hung out on the rocks and slept.  Just at the end of our swim, John and I hung behind the others in our group and floated motionlessly in the shallow water to spend a little more time watching the seals.  Since we were so still, the seals seemed to get a little more comfortable and flopped into the water right next to us.  It was really fun to have the chance to get so close to them in their native habitat and see, outside of an aquarium, how they really play and sleep and live.

John was less convinced.  He didn’t say no to the idea, but he was not so enthusiastic about it.  I guess while I was excited, he was nervous.  But he agreed to go along.  So once we made it to Queenstown, the self-designated “Adventure Capital of the World,” and the home of bungy jumping, we booked our jumps at AJ Hackett Bungy, where the bungy pioneers AJ Hackett and Henry van Asch made their first bungy jump in November 1988.  They jumped off the Kawarau River Bridge, which sits about 43 meters, or 141 feet, or 13 stories, above the river.

The Kawarau River is a beautiful attraction in and of itself.  For years I’ve thought that the scene towards the end of the first Lord of the Rings movie, where the members of the fellowship of the ring are rowing down the River Anduin through Argonath, the twin pillars of the kings, is one of the most beautiful scenes in the movie trilogy.  Little did I know that that particular scene was filmed on the Kawarau River, just around a bend from where the AJ Hackett Bungy site is.

We scheduled our big jump for late morning, and we arrived a little ahead of time so we’d have a chance to watch a couple of other folks jump before it was our turn.  I think that probably only added to the nerves.  By that point, I had joined John in feeling incredibly anxious about the jump.  Before we walked up to the bridge, we both made nervous trips to the bathroom and found the signs indicating the women’s and men’s bathrooms to be amusing.

Then it was time to walk the plank.  As we stepped onto the bridge, John all of a sudden got really excited and his nerves completely melted away.  Meanwhile, I was shaking.  With his newfound enthusiasm, John volunteered to jump first.  You can see the excitement in John’s face and the trepidation in mine.

After getting all strapped in, John stepped up to the edge and actually dove off of the bridge.  When my turn came, my knees buckled and I just pitched forward.  During the initial fall, before the bungy cord snapped me back, I really thought that that might be it for me, that I would plunge headfirst into the glacial-fed river, and the honeymoon would be over.  But then the cord snapped me back, and all of sudden it was really fun.  During the next several bounces, I regained my form a little bit.

Then the crew on the bridge lowered the cord and the “rescue crew” waiting in the raft below reeled me in.  They were asking me questions about my education and where I was from, I think to bring me back around and make sure I was alright.  I had so much adrenaline pumping through my veins, and such an extreme sense of relief and excitement, that I almost couldn’t talk.  When I met up with John on the stairs back up to the main building, we both shouted, “Let’s go do it again!”  But fortunately sense won out and we just headed off to check out the pictures of our jumps.

New Zealand is truly a stunning country.  Each day we would say, “There’s no way it can be better than yesterday,” but day after day we encountered beautiful springtime landscapes and spectacular views.  On our second day, while en route to Mount Cook, John pulled off the road so we could take some pictures of one of the beautiful views along the way.

I took on the role of documenting life in the camper van while John handled the hardcore duties, like emptying all of our waste (yuck).  First he’d dump the gray water and then the toilet cassette.  He’d rinse out the cassette and refill it with some kind of blue liquid that helped to break down the waste.  Then he’d refill the water tank with fresh, potable water.  And finally he’d celebrate when it was all done.

      Afterwards, the first thing he’d do each time he climbed back into the driver’s seat was thoroughly scrub his hands with an antibacterial wipe.  John was a real trooper.  In addition to the waste-emptying, he also handled all of our driving, since (a) I don’t know how to drive a manual shift (much less in a huge van), (b) I’ve never driven on the left side of the road, and (c) I’m a nervous driver.  In the passenger seat, I’d keep John entertained by attempting to navigate (the GPS was much better at it), pointing out the Lord of the Rings filming sites we’d just happen to be passing (they’re everywhere!), and reading articles to him from the NY Times.  I’ll admit it–I would generally also take a nap each afternoon.

Here’s John demonstrating how we’d sleep in the camper van (plus actually sleeping):

It sounds a little funny to say it, since by the time we got to New Zealand we’d been traveling together for five months, but one of the things we enjoyed most about our two weeks in the camper van was all of the quality time that we had together.  Up until that point, we’d had internet access almost everywhere we were, and failing that we’d have TV, or other people around.  In New Zealand, we were truly off the grid, and just with each other.  Most of the time we couldn’t even listen to the radio because New Zealand’s South Island isn’t populated enough to have radio everywhere.  (We did make it through one round of the Bruno Mars CD that someone before us left in the camper van’s CD player.  Once was more than enough.)  Spending hours together in the van and on various hikes and other outings, we enjoyed just being together and talking.  We realized that it reminded us of the very earliest stages of our relationship, when I was still living in New York, and we’d spend hours and hours on the phone together each night.  I think we were both surprised and happy that after traveling together for so long, we still had so much to say to each other.  Those two weeks were really special.

Many people have asked us what our favorite place was that we visited, and where we’d most like to go back.  To both of those questions, we always answer New Zealand.  It really is the most beautiful place that either of us has ever been.

On our drive out to the coast, we zigzagged through small towns and farmland that looked so much like the U.S. I think I could easily have forgotten where we were, except for when we made a wrong turn and John turned around in someone’s driveway and then following years of conditioning pulled back out on the road on the right side, and I shouted out, “Left side!  Left side!”

Our first stop along the coast was at Port Campbell, a tiny, quaint town where we had some lunch before officially joining up with the Great Ocean Road.  From there we headed on to Twelve Apostles National Park to see the beautiful crumbling limestone pillars and cliffs.  It was really pretty out, and we tried to capture it with pictures, but I don’t think they quite do it justice.

On our way back to the parking lot, we saw this sign.  Luckily we didn’t see any snakes!

We continued heading east back towards Melbourne and then turned off onto the road leading out to the lighthouse at Cape Otway.  I’d read that we had a good chance of seeing koalas there, and sure enough, as we rounded a bend, I saw some folks stopped, looking up into the trees, and then I spotted the koalas.  I’m not quite sure why I was so excited to see koalas over every other animal, but I screamed out, “Stop the car!  Stop the car!  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!”  John pulled over and parked and we hopped out to watch the koalas lying around on tree branches and chewing on eucalyptus leaves.  You can see in the picture below just how jazzed I was about seeing koalas.  As we carried on down the road we happened upon a kangaroo.  I couldn’t believe our luck.  It paused and posed for us and we took some pictures.

The rest of our drive back to Melbourne was pretty uneventful, although it got a little hairy for John after the sun went down and we continued speeding over miles and miles of the very twisty, turny, and hilly Great Ocean Road with just a low metal barrier separating us from barreling over a cliff into the ocean.  We finally made it back to Melbourne close to midnight and hit the sack for an early start for Sydney the next morning.

The drive to Sydney was interesting, taking us through a number of seaside towns that we expected would remind us of California but instead looked a lot more like New England.  John powered through long hours of driving–13 hours over 2 days–with occasional stops in little towns for seafood and short walks to explore.  We crashed in Sydney for a night and then flew up to the warm weather and sunshine in the Whitsunday Islands for this view:

Until we saw New Zealand, I think we’d definitely say the Whitsundays were the most beautiful place we’d been, and we loved having the chance to spend some time on the water.  We spent one day on a catamaran cruise that took us to uninhabited Whitehaven Beach for some swimming, walking, and lounging, and another day we headed out to the Great Barrier Reef on a snorkeling trip.  The water wasn’t too cold, but to protect ourselves from the risk of stings by box jellyfish, we wore full “stinger suits” that for me included even a hood and gloves.  The snorkeling was really beautiful, even just seeing the coral itself.  I didn’t know that the color, size, and shape of coral could vary so much.

We spent our nights back on Hamilton Island enjoying watching the full moon and then making sure our balcony door was securely closed before bed.  Apparently people have been feeding the cockatoos, which has made them fearless about searching out food.  They’ll land on the balcony railing and peer inside to see if anyone is around.  If not, they’ll fly on in, help themselves to anything they can find to eat, and generally make a mess of the place.  I guess they’re a little like rodents, but a lot more beautiful, and they enjoy the sunset, too!

Jenny and Craig loaded us and our bags into their car and drove us back to their fantastically clean, cozy, hipster-ville apartment, where Craig made us the best egg, cheese, and bacon sandwiches I’ve ever eaten (sorry, John—I just really liked the sandwich Craig made!).  They put us to bed and then the next morning they waited and waited and waited for us to eventually wake up.  We finally headed out into town around 2pm for a beautiful afternoon of bike-riding, market-eating, and walking through the parks.  Maybe it was the smog-filled gray skies in India that affected our perspective, but the sky in Melbourne seemed so beautiful.  Its blue color somehow seemed different than what we see at home.  I couldn’t help gazing up at it and remarking on it repeatedly.

  Unfortunately for Jenny and Craig’s sakes, John and I were pretty boring in Melbourne.  We were feeling so under the weather that we spent most of our week there sleeping and resting, recovering from our colds and also treating John’s stomach bugs, thanks to an Aussie doctor’s visit and trustworthy medication from a Melbourne pharmacy.  Jenny and Craig did manage to get us out of the apartment a bit, though.  We explored St. Kilda one evening, topped off with lots of fresh bakery treats, we had oysters and fish and chips, plus lots of pizza and even homemade burritos, we spent a sunny afternoon at the famous Melbourne Cricket Ground watching a local cricket match, we went disco bowling, and we even got to celebrate Thanksgiving together with a freshly roasted turkey.

Best of all, Jenny and I engaged in our favorite pastime—afternoon tea with girl talk at a swanky hotel.  Sparkling wine, Assam tea, lots of sandwiches, and freshly baked scones with clotted cream.  Yum.

Jenny and I have been best friends for over twenty years, but for the majority of that time, we’ve lived in different states and sometimes in different countries, so it was really special to have the chance to visit her in Australia and get to know Craig (now her husband—congratulations, guys!).  We’re so excited for you guys, we miss you, and I can’t wait to see you again soon for wedding take two!

After arriving in Aurangabad, we headed out first to visit the Ajanta caves.  Most of the sites we’d been visiting up to that point in India were old, but they weren’t really old.  The Ajanta caves, on the other hand, are really old.  The five cave temples and twenty-four cave monasteries at Ajanta were carved out of solid rock in the period from about 200 BC to 650 AD, and then they were abandoned, essentially forgotten, until their rediscovery in 1819 by a British tiger-hunting party.  Lucky for us, that means that considering their age, they’re pretty well-preserved.

Although the Ajanta caves are known for their Buddhist paintings and sculptures, I couldn’t get over how the caves themselves were carved out of solid rock.  They’re not small, and the thought of people working over 2,000 years ago to chisel away at the rock by hand to create monuments filled with artistic masterpieces kind of blew my mind.  Some of the paintings were also really fascinating, especially those in which you could see that Indian artists had mastered the technique of perspective over 1,000 years before European painters figured out how to do so.

We headed next to the Ellora caves, and where the Ajanta caves are known for their artistic detail and subtlety, the Ellora caves are known for their immense size.  Although the thirty-four Ellora cave temples and monasteries are considerably younger than the Ajanta caves, having been carved between 600-1000 AD, they were similarly carved out of solid rock.  The Ellora caves are also interesting because out of the thirty-four temples and monasteries there, twelve are Buddhist, seventeen are Hindu, and five are Jain—three different religions all represented harmoniously in one spot.  Since we had seen the Buddhist caves at Ajanta earlier that day, we used our limited time to visit a couple of the Jain and Hindu temples at Ellora.  The Jain temples were big, but the Hindu Kailash Temple was immense.  It covers a total area of almost 10,000 square feet, which makes it twice the size of the Parthenon and one and a half times as tall.  We read that it’s been estimated that about 200,000 tons of rock were carved out and removed to create that one temple.  How they managed to carve a temple that size out of solid rock without power tools is completely astounding to me.  It was all really interesting, and it gave us a little insight on what ancient India might have been like.

We always hear that the Taj Mahal is the world’s most famous memorial to love, so we were a little amused to learn that it was actually built to honor Shah Jahan’s third wife, who he married while he was still married to the first two.  We’d all romanticized the building a little more than that and had assumed he’d just been consumed by his love for his one wife, but we learned that it’s hard to know whether the building was truly built for love or to demonstrate the magnificence of Mughal architecture.  In any case, it was breathtaking–not just the perfect symmetry of it and the beauty of the marble that seems to change color as the sun comes up, but also the details that you don’t really see until you get right up close to the building–in particular the carved marble panels and the inlaid stones set in various patterns.

Our guide told us that we were lucky–that the day we visited was the clearest day he’d seen in about a month.  The pollution still seems to have softened the lines of the building, but he said we were getting the full experience, unlike other recent visitors.  The extreme pollution in Agra is really taking a toll on the building, though, causing acid rain that is eating away at the marble.  I took a picture of John when we stopped for a moment at the back of the building overlooking the Yamuna River.  You might think it looks foggy outside, but it wasn’t–it was just smoggy.

My absolute favorite moment of our visit to the Taj Mahal happened just before we were about to leave. To give some background, all over India people had been taking pictures of us.  Sometimes they would ask to pose with us (while we held their babies!), but more often than not we’d notice their smartphones slyly pointed at us as they passed by.  I was surprised that we were such a novelty there.  I guess I figured that as a former British colony, they’d be more used to seeing westerners.  After a while I felt like I was starting to get a taste for how celebrities must feel when targeted by paparazzi, and at my dad’s suggestion I decided to take pictures right back of the people taking pictures of us, which they seemed to get a huge kick out of, and it made it a lot more fun for me, too.  The boldest picture-takers would also engage us in conversation, which my dad loved.  I think he especially enjoyed having the opportunity to portray American tourists in a friendly light.  One day during our trip, at an old fort in Delhi, a group of high school students on a field trip with their teacher stopped my dad for pictures and an interview.  They asked him where he was from and if we had anything in our country like the fort we were visiting (answer: no, our country isn’t that old!).  I remember him talking about George Washington as the father of our country, somewhat like how they think of Gandhi.  I had fun snapping pictures of my dad being interviewed by the kids at the same time that they were taking pictures of him and the rest of us.

So back at the Taj Mahal, John and I had stopped to sit down where we could just soak in the view.  We noticed a couple of young Indian guys tentatively approaching, and they asked if they could each take a picture with John.  I hopped up and out of the way and one at a time each of them snuggled right up to John, practically sitting in his lap, to take pictures of the other.  It was hilarious.  Clearly our concepts of personal space and not being too intimate with strangers do not translate in India.  After they took their pictures I asked them both to pose with John.  I think they almost managed to kidnap him from me, but luckily I kept him in the end!

We spent five great days in Luang Prabang, Laos’s second city and definitely one of the most beautiful city stops on our trip.  The whole place has been designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site, so buildings both new and old are constructed in the traditional Lao wooden style, and it’s packed with striking, gilded Buddhist temples.

On our first three lazy days, we relaxed at Le Café Ban Wat Sene, where we drank coffee and ate delicious French food, thanks to the colonial legacy that was left behind.  We did get out on one of those days, though, for a really fun visit with the uncle of my good friend Alicyn from Austin. Last February, when I mentioned to Alicyn that John and I were planning to visit Laos, she responded, “My uncle lives there!”  I was surprised—in name and appearance, Alicyn is clearly of European descent, so I didn’t expect she’d have family living in Southeast Asia.  As it turns out, following his retirement, her Uncle Kenny headed to Luang Prabang to study Buddhism and ended up settling there for the last few years, where he now has a workshop in a large gallery space with a number of other artists.  At his workshop, Uncle Kenny spends his days creating and refurbishing spirit houses.  Laos is a predominantly Buddhist country, but from Uncle Kenny and others that we talked to, we learned that Buddhism there is not “pure,” in the sense that Laotians incorporate traditional animistic beliefs into their Buddhist practice.  One of these traditional beliefs involves spirit houses, which are little wooden dollhouse-like boxes.  The spirit houses provide a home for spirits that can create mischief if they’re not given a nice place to live.  Spirit houses are everywhere in Laos—on street corners and outside restaurants, hotels, and family homes—and the Laotians leave offerings inside of them—usually some sticky rice, incense, flowers, and fruit, and sometimes even cigarettes.  We met up with Uncle Kenny at a café along the Nam Khan—a river that feeds into the Mekong—for a leisurely breakfast followed by a visit to his workshop.  It was a beautiful twenty-minute tuk-tuk ride out to his gallery space, although sadly it was just in a regular tuk-tuk and not this great rainbow one that I saw—I especially love the driver on his pink cellphone.

Uncle Kenny showed us around the gallery and explained his work to us and afterwards chatted with us over coffee about U.S. politics and life in Laos.  It was a lovely morning!  John took a couple of pictures of me with Uncle Kenny, and I got a few of Uncle Kenny’s spirit houses and his workshop.

On our last two days in Luang Prabang, after we boarded the Mekong Sun (more on that to come in the next post), we visited several of the Buddhist temples that have made Luang Prabang so famous, including Wat Xieng Thong and Wat Wisunarat, plus the Royal Palace Museum and Mount Phousi for great views of the city.

We also drove out to the Kuangsi waterfall, where we had the chance to take a COLD swim in one of the waterfall’s pools.  After only half submerging myself in the freezing water, I watched while John climbed a tree to take a jump off a rope swing into the pool.  He emerged with a smile and goose bumps.

At dawn on our last morning, before the Mekong Sun began cruising upriver, we went to watch what Luang Prabang is most famous for—the daily religious ritual called Tak Bat.  Every day at sunrise, the hundreds of Buddhist monks that live in the city process down the main street with metal bowls to collect food offerings from Luang Prabang’s residents, who make merit by providing food for the monks.  It was really fascinating to watch, but trying to be respectful we hung back and just snapped a quick picture from a distance.

Last but not least, we visited Luang Prabang’s morning food market.  Just for my brother-in-law John B., who wondered if you can truly buy doughnuts everywhere in the world, we filmed this little video showing what the market has to offer.

Laos Morning Market